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User blog:TheBabylonianBerserker1337/Game of Thrones is Garbage - And Here's Why: An Honest Look at the Show
Why I hate Game of Thrones: Alright, since my hatred for Game of Thrones is common knowledge on the wiki, and it confuses a fair amount of people who don't understand the reasons why I believe this, of course it doesn't help to have people like Joe walking around saying that my dislike is purely because it diverged from A Song of Ice and Fire, which is a total strawman. Point being, Game of Thrones simply does not hold up even on its own. I'm going to lay out my problems with it here, particularly with the writing, which absolutely breaks it. If you look at any plot line in this show for more than five seconds, it falls apart. Here is an analysis of some of the "Worst of the worst" of the show, because, I really cannot think of any aspect of the show that was good in the past two seasons, aside from the Battle of Hardhome, and I already took enough of my time to type out these complaints. Also, in a landmark declaration, I am not going to mention the book series. I am not going to be making comparisons to the book series. This, is why Game of Thrones is a terrible show, and why it cannot stand up even on its own. With Season 7 proving to be imminent, there is not a better time to release this blog. Prepare for a rant, but please take what I say here seriously. Spoilers for Seasons 5 and 6 ahead; Don't read if you haven't seen them: Stannis Baratheon This is the worst butchering that D&D have ever done. This one still infuriates me to this day, as everyone here knows. -Complete and utter incompetently written scene in 5x04 with Stannis and Shireen, one which, in hindsight, has no purpose other than to make the audience like Stannis and Shireen, so they can do their moronic writing tactic at the end of 5x09 which is purely for shock value and out of hatred that he stands in the way of their precious Mary Sue Stormborn. -Ramsay and his "20 Good Men" manage to get into Stannis' camp, and light 10 fires (Just the ones we initially saw from aerial view) and burn a majority of Stannis' supplies (Which are evidently completely unguarded) at completely different ends of the camp at the same time without anyone ever seeing them, or getting a grasp on what is going on. -This, somehow convinces Stannis that he needs to kill his own daughter to save his army, a man who clearly loves her, as evidenced from the scene in 5x04. -This killing also manages to have Selyse try and save Shireen, even though she has shown her nothing but coldness . So basically, the man that loves her kills her, while the woman who hates her tries to save her. -After the sacrifice, R'hllor melts all of the upwards of two inches of snow on the ground, and Stannis' army can finally proceed. But wait! There's trouble in paradise!!! -Half of his troops have deserted, somehow managing to take all of the horses with them. As we see numerous times, the entirety of Stannis' army is mounted. So, half of the army managed to take with them an amount of horses which were enough for the entirety of the army. - -However, they miraculously forgot one horse! This horse is conveniently used by Melisandre to complete a several weeks long ride in the course of an afternoon. I guess we know what Shireen's sacrifice was REALLY for. -Stannis, the Greatest Military Commander in the Seven Kingdoms, doesn't order his army into formation, or even bother to think about any tricks to turn the battle back in his favor, nope, he just marches in, and his army gets slaughtered. -Stannis somehow winds up in the middle of the god damn woods which appeared to be at least a mile away from them as well as being at the very front of his army, completely blocked by the columns of troops from behind him and was moving towards the Bolton cavalry who were clearly about to completely envelop his host. There is no feasible way he could have ended up back there. -Brienne finds Stannis in the middle of a battlefield. She has to kill no one else, judging by the fact that there is no blood on her sword. Also, by the fact that it's a battlefield with people looking to kill anyone not wearing their colors, we can safely assume she met no one else either. She just finds Stannis, and then gets out, without coming across anyone else. Okay, flawless writing, but wait, it's more complicated than that. Before that, she tracked down Arya, then she tracked down Sansa, and then afterwards, she tracked down Sansa again. I think it's clear that what is really going on, is that Brienne has the best tracking abilities ever possessed by a human being. Someone should throw a needle in a haystack the size of a barn and see how long it takes Brienne to find it. My guess? One episode. There we go, that's the Stannis' plotline, virtually nothing after he leaves Castle Black makes any sense at all. Tyrion Lannister Here he is, David Benioff and Daniel Brett Weiss' official T-shirt salesman. They adapted a deeply flawed yet still likeable character into someone who is literally perfect in every way whatsoever. Go on, try to find a flaw with Tyrion in the show - You can't. The writers love him so much, that they've made him be perfect. They give him all these little "clever" one-liners that are absolutely eaten up by show fans. They have no idea what a complicated character is, how to make an actually good character, or even, how to make a character that isn't completely one dimensional. "I drink and I know things" is the worst of Tyrion's quotes, and it's sole purpose was to sell T-shirts, and to make show casuals orgasm at how perfect and awesome their distorted and dumbed down version of Tyrion is. "Wow, that quote is totally TRUUUUUUUU xd lol IM GONNA BUY A SHIRT WITH IT ON IT SO I CAN IMPRESS ALL MY FRIENDS WITH HOW RELATABLE I AM, I'M GONNA GET IT TATTOOED ON MY ASS!!! xdxd!!!" Daenerys Targaryen Ugh, this fucking abomination of a character. A complete and utter Mary Sue, her and her cringey speeches and scenes are constantly force-fed to the audience, and just about everyone here on this wiki I have talked to, absolutely despises them, but they still like the show. Well, this is what the writers focus on; They focus on their shitty scenes for Mary Sue Stormborn, that's clearly where all their effort goes...And they are one of the worst aspects of this entire mess of a TV show. However, this is different because it is their finest work, in their eyes. She gets the worst quotes, she gets the cringiest speeches, while the showrunners try to pass them off as genius and inspiring. She amasses droves of brainless zombies who actually think she's a good character, which really comes off across as pure stupidity from people who don't care to look at the show in anything resembling a critical viewpoint. "I am not going to stop the wheel, I am going to break the wheel" Ooh, so threatening and badass! If I were the Houses in Westeros I would roll over and surrender immediately! "I am a ______, not a ________" Okay, this is ridiculous. The amount of times she says this shit is basically beating the buried skeleton of a horse which died 1000 years ago in the crusades. How about this one? "I am not a good character, I'm a Mary Sue who the showrunners love cramming down the throats of the viewers" It's interesting when you think about it, Daenerys' invasion force is actually very similar to that of a stereotypical fantasy villain, it's comprised of pirates, enslaved eunuchs engineered purely for killing, and horse lords that leave a path of rape, death and destruction in their path. Somehow, the writers managed to turn this into a perfect army of liberation which will save Westeros, and usher in a new golden age. The fact that even a good portion of the most casual of showplebs are intelligent enough to despise her, and see her as the awfully written character with terribly executed development, should be pretty damning. Her actress, Emilia Clarke, has some of the worst delivery of any actress I have ever seen, she ruins scenes constantly, as if the writing didn't ruin them enough. She doesn't do nude scenes because she wants to be taken seriously, nothing wrong with that, perhaps that's a good thing, however that isn't going to happen due to the fact that she is absolutely barren in regards to range and emotions, an absolutely terrible actress in every regard imaginable. Take the scene in Season 6 where she walks into the Great Pyramid of Meereen from a balcony, and the Unsullied kneel to her. First of all, how the fuck did she get onto that balcony? I know you may say she rode Drogon there, but not once did we hear a gigantic ass dragon roaring, or flapping its wings - Something that happens in every other scene where he is involved, That was the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Daenerys feels like a character in a shitty anime, or in a broadway show rather than a high budget show on HBO which costs over a million dollars per episode, she's a Disney princess in a dark and brutal world where anyone* (Except the characters D&D like, cough cough, Bran, Jon, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Tyrion, etc.) can be killed off at any moment, it's like if they took Michonne on the Walking Dead and turned her into Cinderella. It's baffling, but not really so, that she has a fanbase, until you take into account the intelligence of the average Daenerys fan, then it isn't really that surprising, and more just depressing at how much we have regressed as a species. Nocockmeo and Juliet Gotta love Barristan's death scene, because it served no storytelling purpose whatsoever, aside from needlessly shocking the fans which D&D appear to be obsessed with doing. Grey Worm gets to live, sure, because they have to shoehorn in that Grey Worm x Missandei romance plotline although 1) It is pointless 2) No one actually wants to see it 3) There is more pressing usage of the last 13 hours of the show than this crap. Serious question; Who here cares about a boring man with no dick or balls that cannot feel sexual attraction and whether or not he gets to bang another equally dull character? More importantly, how the fuck would they bang? Again, Grey Worm is physically incapable of sexual attraction, because of the fact that he has been a eunuch since birth. Those hormones do not exist, nor did they ever. This is horrendously written filler, nothing more. It makes no sense, it has no purpose, this is typical D&D trash writing, and the funniest part is, nobody actually cares about or wants to see this plotline. Davos Seaworth and the Aftermath of Stannis' Defeat At the end of Season 5, Davos has basically just realized that Stannis, the man he had vigorously supported for what amounted to well over a year, a man who he loved and saw as a friend, Shireen, a sweet little girl who he clearly cared for and loved like she was his own, and his entire army are dead, and therefore, all of Davos' friends are dead. Now, what does Davos do next? Does he: A) Show human emotion, and act as crushed as any human would have been in that position B) Get overwhelmingly angry C) Try to scrounge up men to march South to avenge Stannis D) Give no reaction, and try to get a woman he hates, to use the black magic which he also hates, to revive a random dude who he talked to a grand total of twice? If you gave an actual rational answer, aka A-C, you are wrong as hell. He forgets about Stannis immediately, and decides to risk his life to try and resurrect a man who he talked to no more than twice, and whom he had no reason to try and resurrect. He has no idea that Jon has any importance whatsoever, it makes absolutely no sense. Later on in the season, he says "Maybe we made the mistake of putting our faith in Kings", and then the next episode he turns around and declares Jon to be the King in the North. What the fuck? Is this how the idiotic showrunners think character development works? Because nobody would actually act this way. SHIRTLESS FIGHT SCENES!!! Ramsay walks into a battle shirtless, and no one decides to hit him with their axe from behind despite completely surrounding him, and he spends the entirety of the scene fighting with one Ironborn soldier, whom he stabs and cuts like five times while that soldier never shows any signs of fatigue or injury. How does this happen, you might ask? VALYRIAN STEEL PLOT ARMOR. Ser Meryn Trant the Sadistic Pedo Rapist You gotta love the tremendous writing skills of D&D, in order to make people hate Meryn Trant, they had to make him a child rapist who gets off on whipping little girls until they scream. You couldn't do that a more subtle way, no, because D&D have no god damn clue what subtlety is. He wasn't hated enough already for more realistic reasons, no, he's now a pedophilic rapist and a child abuser, amazing job. This is what D&D do, they take morally ambiguous characters, or characters portrayed as villains, and they turn them into complete one dimensional bad guys who are all the epitome of evil. MUHBIGCOCKsmoot This is the only butchering that comes close to what D&D did to Stannis, in some ways it even exceeds it. Temporarily forget what I said earlier about not mentioning the books, I'm going to do one minor bit of contrasting for this section, although. In the books, Euron gives an epic speech about how he will seize upon the wars taking place and take the entirety of Westeros for the ironborn, it's really one of my favorite parts in the books, you can listen to it here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBiNdwcF4WU). Now, the showrunners took this epic speech, and such a badass and terrifying character, cast a dude who looks like a teddy bear, and then turned the speech into "I commited fratricide, now im gonna fuck duhnairis with MUH BIG COCK, elect me" and they do, it's legitimately like an unironic version of Mr. Garrison's campaign in South Park. Now, that complaint doesn't hedge on the book comparison I gave, it still sucks all on its own. As well as this, they add on the stereotypical "OMG WHAT WTF?!?!" murmuring across the crowd once Yara accuses Euron of killing her father. D&D are here to assassinate characters, and fuck book plots, and they're all out of book plots. Finales The sole purpose of the past two season finales have seemingly just been to end as many plot lines as possible, even if they butcher characters, completely shit on storylines, or give the worst endings possible. In Season 5, they did it with Stannis; Literally none of Stannis' part of that episode made any sense whatsoever, as I have shown above. The Sand Snakes somehow get on the ship out of Dorne, kill Trystane, and somehow get off the ship, all while going completely unnoticed by everyone onboard. The Meryn Trant bit I mentioned above, Arya getting the Frey Pie plotline, it's awful. I'm still struggling to figure out the storytelling purpose of Cersei's wildfire explosion at the Great Sept of Baelor, other than to wrap up as many plotlines as possible. The story was clearly going somewhere, with Margaery appearing to have a plan for deceiving the High Sparrow, and looking poised to have the last laugh. Nope, all semblances of an interesting plot go out the damn window as always, along with the loads of unnecessary deaths. They completely halted the actually interesting plots, and essentially cut it down to: White Walkers King Jon Starkgaryen Cersei on Iron Throne Daenerys coming for Iron Throne Littlefinger also coming for Iron Throne Conclusion As you may know, around 10 months ago, the plot of S7 was supposedly leaked (I'm not going to talk about any of the things in it here, read it if yourself if you want to know). I have to say, I believe every word of it. It's every bit as nonsensical and utterly terrible as the horrendous writing that Dipshit & Dickhead have forced down our throats for the past two years. When Season 5 ended, it was so bad that I couldn't have realistically imagined they could do worse. Character butcherings, plots that went nowhere, shock value deaths, and then Season 6 came along, and jesus christ was it bad. Well, that's my blog. Feel free to discuss it in the comments below, this was long as fuck, and I have a load more grievances to share, Arya, Dorne, and other plotlines I could absolutely rip the hell out of (I'll release them later if its absolutely necessary); But I won't because this blog is far too long already. Also, Rap Battles of Warfare premiere within the next month is probable. Goodbye. Category:Blog posts